How to Plan an Engagement Party
3 min read ·
An engagement is smaller than a wedding, but it still takes planning: it's the two families' first big celebration together and often sets the tone for the wedding. Below are the decisions to make, in order, for a relaxed engagement party.
Who hosts the engagement
Traditionally, the engagement is held at the bride's family home or a venue chosen by her family, while the groom's family brings the ring, the decorated trays and gifts. Today the split of costs varies from family to family — discuss who covers what at the first formal meeting or right after it.
Format: at home or in a restaurant
An engagement at home
More intimate, with fewer guests. The food, space and welcoming guests fall to the family — divide up who takes care of what in advance.
An engagement in a restaurant
Easier if the guest list is large: food, service and music are handled in one place. In this case, plan the engagement as a smaller version of the wedding — with a menu, music and a short program.
The guest list
Fewer guests are usually invited to the engagement than to the wedding: close relatives and family friends. Let each side draw up its own list, then agree on the numbers — if one side arrives with a very long list, the other may feel squeezed.
Decorated trays and gifts
The number and contents of the trays (xonça) depend on custom and the family's means. They often include:
- sweets — baklava, shakarbura or modern desserts;
- fresh and dried fruit;
- fabric, clothing or jewelry for the bride;
- the ring and a gift — usually separately, in a decorated box;
- in some families, small gifts for the bride's close relatives.
If you're ordering ready-made trays, schedule delivery an hour or two before the ceremony so that any delay doesn't disrupt the program.
The program
- Guests arrive and are seated.
- The groom's family arrives with the trays.
- Greetings and kind words from family elders.
- The ring is placed on the bride's finger.
- Food, music and dancing.
- Discussing the wedding date and next steps — often between the elders, separately.
The engagement invitation
An engagement invitation can be simpler than a wedding invitation: the date, time, address and a request to reply are enough. Even with a small guest list, collecting replies makes the food and seating count accurate.
Design your engagement and wedding invitations in the same style, and guests will see all the celebrations as one story.
Browse templatesFrequently asked questions
How long before the wedding is the engagement?
There is no strict rule: some families hold the engagement a few months before the wedding, others a year or more. The two families decide the timing together.
Who puts the engagement ring on?
It depends on family custom. Often the groom's mother or a respected woman of the family does it, while some couples put the rings on each other themselves.
Do we need to send invitations for an engagement?
A phone call may be enough for close relatives, but with a larger guest list, a written invitation with an RSVP form makes counting much easier.